Friday, July 3, 2009

While I'm Waiting

I feel so stuck. It's like I went from speeding in life's fast lane to being stuck in driving school again.



I just got back from a missions trip to Atlanta, Georgia where my youth group held a four day vbs for the most amazing children I've known so far. During the trip, I felt hot. not quite on fire yet, but smoldering, ready to explode at the very first opportunity.



Now I'm back home though. Stuck. I tried to bring the heat home, but my family thought I was just radical and slightly crazed and let it slide like they would a stupid joke. They don't have the same passion that I feel.



I want to serve the world. Before going to Atlanta, I knew I had a serious interest in missions. I didn't know how serious, something on the side maybe, I was still trying to figure that out. While I was there, though, I decided that there was nothing I could ever do with my life except serve others in similar ways to what we did in Atlanta. There'd certainly be something, or maybe a couple things on the side so I'd be able to support myself and my family, but my main focus is, and I hope it will always be, to serve others.



I don't know what my plans are yet. The choice between college or something different is so close for me already. My parents are really pressuring me to go to college to go through with a good major "just in case it doesn't work out." Especially my mom..My dad was the same way for a while, but he's sort of sat back recently, To see how it all unfolds I suppose, before he comes out with his wisdom. And I do mean that. Everything he says will happen as a result of my choices always seems to happen, whether it's playing video games, how hard I work on my homework, or relationships. Part of it might be that I have to obey what he says and I'm pushed towards his predictions, but I know that there's always some truth in what he says. God bless them both for what they're trying to do for me. They don't want to see me fail and I appreciate that. But I have another path for my life.



I've been talking to people in my church to find out more about Lee University, a Christian college in Tennessee. I'd like to find out more about it. I've also heard about a program called Master's Commission which sounds just like what I've looking for for a while.


Yesterday night, I was at a Bible study for college/pre-college students. We were talking about rejection that night and Mike asked us to share about a time in our lives when we had faced rejection. No one raised their hand at first, so I tentatively raised mine. Not because I was afraid to share, but because mine didn't have to do directly with rejection. My question was basically this: When there's somewhere you know you need to get to in your life, but can't because important people in your life are holding you back, what do you do? Another student voiced a very similar question right afterwards. Mike quickly caught on to the "important people" and told us that our situations were only a little tricky.

Firstly, we must obey our parents while we are under their roof. That is one of our commandments, "Honor Thy father and thy mother." Otherwise, your road from there on will be screwed. If our parents are keeping us from moving forward, there's obviously a good reason for that. One that even they might not fully grasp. Look at it this way. You want to live out the call you've received from God. The only thing standing in your way is one of His commandments. Clearly, God is telling you to WAIT. I don't want to wait, so it's hard for me. When it's the right time, God will release you. When it's the right time, you will be on fire, hotter than you've ever been. You'll be most effective for His purposes for you.

Obviously we're not jsut supposed to sit around on our behinds doing nothing, waiting for the phone to ring one day to hear a strange voice say "It is the right time..." We have to be working constantly, grinding away at our vices and building up our virtues. Mike also said this: What we become when we are working for God is basically a blown up version of what we are now. That means not only our near perfections, but also our imperfections will be 10 times bigger for everyone to see. We've got to be constantly active to become the individual that God wants us to be.

When Mike told us that I knew that was exactly what I had needed to here. The command to just wait. I've been so eager to get off my chain and go all out, but I haven't been considering that I'm not ready yet. And now that I've realized this, it all makes perfect sense to me.

Not everyone who feels stuck in the slow lane right now is facing the same obstacles. For some people, they thik it's their age, or they can't find the opportunities they're seeking. God has perfect plans though. We need to sow the seeds in our field NOW so that we're ready THEN when the rains come.

While I'm waiting I will serve You.

While I'm waiting I will worship.

While I'm waiting I will not faint.

I'll be running the race even while I wait.

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