The Fray by Arthur Pennington

Today I fell, I fell so far..
My body is bruised, battered and scarred.
For ages it seems, I've been fighting and losing.
These battles that rage, none are my choosing.
It seems like everyday, there's more and more to face.
And now I've fallen, snared during this chase.

Nothing I try helps at all, there's nothing I can do.
I've accepted now that I'm stuck like this, I'll keep the card I drew.
I can still see the deck, I could always choose to go fish.
But nothing matters anyways, there's nothing left to wish.
Meaningless and hopeless, that's what life is to me.
Unchanging and relentless, certainly not happy.

Yet in a way, I almost feel as if I were content.
There's no reason that I should change, what's one more little dent?
I'm broken and bruised, battered and scared.
It felt nice when I knew that somebody cared.
What happened to the joy I had, where are all my friends?
Gone, all gone..Where will I go when utter darkness descends?

Right now, it's not too late, I could admit I'm lost.
But what would I have to lose for that..what would be the cost?
Pride for sure, but that's alright, there's nothing left, besides.
But self-pity, that's hard, that's where my throne abides.
I don't think I'm ready, I like the way it makes me feel.
But then again, I hate it too, I need something to help me heal.

No, I don't want to, I'm fine, I swear!
This way at least I get attention, though, not to say I care.
My friends, they all want to help, I can tell by how they talk.
But they wouldn't care enough until they saw my corpse outlined by chalk.
Then they'd see me, that's for sure, they'd regret it then.
They'd wish that they had spent more time, trying to be my friend.

I hate my life, it's just not fair, why's it got to be this way??
Everything is always changing, I need just one thing to stay.
One friend, one feeling, a dream or just a hope.
A single constant for me to cling to, a foothold or a rope.

God? What God?? He hasn't helped me much!
I've screamed and cried myself to sleep, but I've never felt His touch.

Just one true friend'd be nice to have, just a tiny bit of love.
A strong, unyielding embrace, in case push ever came to shove.

I know I could rely on you, even now if I had to choose.
But I'm ok, for now at least, I still have more to lose.
I won't go under, not just yet, I'll bluff a little longer.
I'm hoping that by holding out, I'll grow a little stronger.

It's a lie, I know, it's clear I'm only digging deeper still.
One day I'll probably give it up, but right now I lack the will.

Just be there for me, like you said you would, and one day I'll come around.
Rest assured, I'll call on you before I'm six feet underground..